temptations

I'm going to start off with a very familiar verse.

Purity

This is a pretty hot topic which I have been thinking about lately. I think you can compare purity to a slippery slide. You think you can put just your toe onto the slide, but next thing you know you are whizzing down a path that is very difficult to backtrack. Purity is also a bit like a bar of soap. It is really hard to hold onto, and seems to want to leap out of your hands at any moment. Really, to effectively guard your purity you need to ask God to look after it for you. Be in tune with Him and listen for when He tells you that you are overstepping the line. There is deep peace and satisfaction in the knowledge that you are bringing joy to your Saviour, as well as those who love you.

time passes

I can hardly believe how long it has been since my last blog post. As I read them, I am confronted with some questions. Am I still the same person I was then? Somehow I doubt it... It's hard to put my finger on what has changed, but it feels as though my outlook on the world is not quite as jaded as it used to be. Sure, I am still a hopeless romantic and an eternal optimist; but maybe I have just experienced so much disappointment that I don't expect quite as much as I did before.

We experience life's lessons for a reason, so I shall just have to take the good with the bad. What is the main lesson that I have learnt during these years? you may ask. Patience. Patience is paramount to getting anything worthwhile in life. Waiting is one of my very weak points, but it's one that God is really working on. All this waiting must mean only one thing... I am in for something totally amazing!

Plotting and Planning

Last week I received a very exciting e-mail informing me that I'd been accepted to study a Unisa course - Christian Counselling. I'd been praying about this, because initially the head of this department had said I probably wouldn't be able to do it without having a matric. I decided to fax my registration in anyway, and two days later received my student number and payment information. Wow! It's so exciting for me because surely it must mean that this is what the Lord wants me to do? My dream is to study Christian psychology next year - beginning with a BA majoring in Christian psychology, followed by a one year Honours and two year Masters (if I get accepted into the program). In my experience so many people are broken, and if I can somehow be instrumental in helping them with their problems and leading them to Master Heart Surgeon, then I will feel that I have done something worthwhile with my life.

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Slow Life

I've come to a point in my life where finally the choices are up to me. It's quite a reality check - I may decide when to go out, when to stay at home, when to work and what to spend my money on. My freedom clearly needs to be balanced with responsibility.

As I step into this new, and somewhat daunting era of my life; I wonder about some things. What if I don't want to be like a sheep who just follows the crowd? What if I don't want my life to be a mad gallop and all I want is the slow life - far away from the rat race? I've seen people's lives go down the drain because they cannot get off this endless merry-go-round. What kind of life is that? At the same time, I can see how easy it is to fall into the trap of modern life. What I'd really like is to never have to do a day of work, to get married to my high school sweetheart, live in a little cottage with roses in the garden and eventually make beautiful babies. Is that a ridiculous thing to want in the 21st century? Or maybe it's up to me to be the master of my own destiny, and to take charge of my own life. I don't have to do what everybody else does, nor do I have to follow society's twisted rules. God has a special plan for my life, and if I just follow it, surely I shall have the peace I crave? For most of all I long to have loved ones near me, and the time and peace to spend time with them, getting to know them. Maybe it's time that we get down to the bare basics of life, take apart the model of 'the perfect life'. Let's deconstruct it, and get down to the foundation of it all. Essentially, life is about living for God. Life is about loving God and others. The question is - how can I accomplish that? Can I really achieve it living in a mad and desperate spiral of one exhausting day after the next? It's true, I am the eternal optimist; but on the other hand, pessimism never gets one anywhere. And you know what they say - reach for the moon, and you may get some stars. In a nutshell, I want a happy life - one wrapped up in those I love. Is that really too much to ask?

Decions, decisions!

This week has been the culmination of a big decision that I have been thinking about for quite a while. Today, I took the plunge, and did it! I've been a part time au-pair for the past year, and have been truly blessed through my experiences with the children. Recently, though, I have been feeling frustrated at having such a limited amount of time to myself. So, after much praying, I handed my letter of resignation in today. I have no idea what I'll be doing next year to make money, but I have faith that the Lord will provide. What I do look forward to is furthering my music studies and having plenty of time to spend with my family.